Sunday, March 22, 2009

What Is Sex?


What is sex may seem like a silly question for an adult to ask, but after speaking and corresponding with thousands of people over the years I’ve come to believe that many of our problems about sex are actually problems of definition. As such every search for information, tips and techniques, or answers to sexual problems can benefit from taking a moment to make sure we know what we’re talking about when we talk about sex.

Definitions of Sex

Anna Freud famously wrote that “sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are.” This way of understanding sex highlights the difference between the act of sex and the individual experience of sexuality, which is an intrinsic part of who we are, one that can’t be separated out of ourselves any more than our ethnicity or religious/spiritual beliefs.

Dictionary definitions of sex tend to be less literary, offering several definitions including:

  1. Sex is a way of distinguishing male and female members of a species, usually by referencing their reproductive functions.
  2. Sex refers to coitus or intercourse, an act that can result in reproduction.
  3. Sex refers to the genitals.

The answer you get to the question “what is sex” depends largely on who you ask. A doctor might tell you that sex is defined by hormones in your body; a therapist might say that sex is all in your head; a guru may tell you that sex is about getting closer to God. Given such broad definitions, it can be helpful to narrow your focus and figure out what aspect of sex you want to learn more about.

Statistics about Sex

One way to define sex is to find out what others are doing in the name of sex, and try to count and categorize these behaviors. It can be informative and reassuring to discover the kinds of sexual diversity in the world (indeed many researchers choose to look at sexual behaviors in other animal species, not just humans). But always keep in mind that statistics can only capture one aspect of sex, and for the thousands of individuals who are counted, millions are not.

Sex Is Our Body

The most obvious and most frequently talked about part of sex is the physical part that involves our bodies. The sexual parts of our bodies are usually considered to be the parts that relate to reproduction: the genitals. But every part of our body can play a role in sex. We may use our feet to physically get us to where we’re going to have sex, we might use our elbows, thighs, or eyelashes during sex play, our earlobes may be involved in unexpected ways. Learning more about how your body works when having sex, and how you can work it more, and better, can expand your definition of sex exponentially.

Sex Is Our Mind

It’s often said that the greatest sex organ is the mind. How we think and feel about our bodies and ourselves, and how we interpret the physical contact we have with others is really what distinguishes good sex from bad. While some people worry about “over thinking” sex, the fact is that exploring our sexual thoughts and feelings may be much more important than trying on the latest sex position or role play outfit.

Sex Is Our Spirit

Sex and religion may appear to be unlikely bedfellows, but most major religions have a lot to say about sexuality (). And besides, saying that sex can be defined in spiritual terms doesn’t have to include organized religion. For some, sex is spiritual because they do feel like it brings them closer to a “higher power.” For others it is their personal religious beliefs that guide their sexual behaviors. Regardless of how it impacts you, your religious or spiritual beliefs and convictions make up part of your personal definition of sex, and exploring them is another way of exploring sex.

Sex Is Our Health

Expanding a definition of sex to include sexual health is a good way to bring all these different parts of sex together. Over 30 years ago the World Health Organization defined sexual health as:
“…a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. For sexual health to be attained and maintained, the sexual rights of all persons must be respected, protected and fulfilled.”

How To Have Better Sexual Health By Eating The Right Foods

Don't feel well? Take a pill. A few pounds to lose? Take a pill. No energy? Take a pill. Depressed? Take a pill. Today's society is a pill society. Many studies have been done to show that if people are given a placebo (sugar pill) and told that it will increase their sexual performance; the majority will say that they noticed an increase in their sexual performance. It has proven that enhancing the libido, at least the most important part of it, comes from the mind. So now we wonder, how does food affect a person's sexual and emotional health?

Soy can be used to suppress hot flashes that occur hot flashes, promote a healthy prostate, and help in vaginal lubrication. It adheres to estrogen receptors which maintain the lubrication that a vagina needs. This is a problem that also occurs during menopause. Chili peppers can improve your circulation and stimulate nerve endings. Ginger can do the same thing. Because this improves, so will your sexual pleasure.

Since good blood flow is important for a good erection food that is good for your heart will also be good for your penis. If your heart is not operating properly there is a very good chance that your penis will not be responding as well as you would like it to either. Since saturated fat will clog the arteries, which in turn will restrict the blood flow, it stands to reason that it also restricts the blood flow that reaches your genital region as well. Yes, your body does require fat to create hormones, but it needs the right kind of fats. Good fat comes from olive oils, sea food, and nuts. These good fats will help in the production of hormones that are essential for sexual peak performance.

Foods that are said to have aphrodisiac qualities are asparagus, bananas, eel, oysters, figs, and ginseng. Rhino horn is said to increase the sexual appetite. The taste, texture, or perhaps appearance of these foods are thought to increase the sex drive. There are some that believe if you eat foods that appear penis like it will make your penis strong and like the food that you ingest. The same applies to the oyster or the fig, which either smell or look like the woman's vulva when aroused. When a person eats these foods they are in the hopes that the vulva will then become plump, slippery, and tasty as well.

Sweet or spicy foods are thought to put people in a relaxed mood and to appear ready to take on more pleasure.

Now the question remains, do these food myths work? No, not the way that they are said to work. Foods cannot change the way that your sexual organs look. Food can be a great way to spice up your sex life though, so why not?

Drinking alcohol will relax you emotionally and physically make you look flushed. For a short amount of time it will make you look flushed. Caffeine and sugar offer a quick boost of energy. These are short term effects but in reality what you should do is eat a healthy diet of fish and fresh vegetables to be at your best physically and sexually at all times.

You can make food part of your sexual experience by cooking a mean with your lover and feeding it to each other. Have a picnic in the middle of the floor, place the foods all around you and let your imagination take over. 'The Karma Sutra' suggests boiling a ram's or goat's testicle in sweetened milk with sparrow's eggs and rice and honey for an aphrodisiac.

What Herbal Supplements Benefit Men's Sexual Health?

If your sexual tempo is decreased after sunny summer days do not be anxious! This is totally normal. You will find a few recommendations and a special formula for men to overcome these hard days on the next lines.

According to mythology, love goddess Aphrodite was known by her own formulated preparations and ointments that she gives to her lovers to increase their sexual power. This is the reason of why today we are calling all stimulating elixirs as aphrodisiacs. Nowadays men are not such lucky and we highly recommend to read this article to men who live in big cities.

Without doubt best aphrodisiacs are Sun, a good sleep and fresh air. A good sleep is necessary for the body to pack itself up, to increase its energy and revitalize its hormones. Sun light is a powerful doping for our body including sexual hormones. The main reason of men's vitality in holidays is being relaxed in fresh air. But in Autumn's cloudy days some natural reinforcements may help a lot.

Magical power of foods:

Basil, clove, ginger, onion, tomato, radish, celery, egg, carrot, red pepper, oats, asparagus, fresh onion, chestnut, hazelnut, pistachio nut, coconut, cucumber, oyster, caviar are main foods to improve your sexual power. Having them in your weekly menu selections would be a wise choice. Specially, foods containing vitamin E like pistachio, almond, hazelnut and walnut are natural drugs for impotence and erectile disorders.

Red is good for men's vitality:

When we say aphrodisiacs we generally mean drugs for men because they must be active in sexual relationships. In other words, for a successful lovemaking they must be aroused and erected. For a man vigor red color is important. In astrology Mars represents man and its sexual power, and Mars's color symbol is red. So, red colored foods and drinks are recommended for man's arousal. For example red pepper, red ginseng...

A man who is always wearing pale, pastel or dark colored dresses may get less excitations. Maybe this is the reason of using red lights, red under wares, red bed sheets... to create an erotic environment. Red coral or ruby stone are also good for increasing man's energy.

Women who feel sexually less active may also profit from red color and stones. But the must important aphrodisiacs for a woman is love and affection added into lovemaking.

As vegetal aphrodisiacs, vitamins are very helpful for a successful sex life. Specially vitamin E is vital for men. Beside pills you can get vitamin E through natural foods and specially hazelnut contains many minerals and essential fat acids. To overcome the fatigue syndrome due to modern life and high technology, vitamin B is also indispensable.

Avoid depression:

Remember that behind sexual troubles, many hormonal and nourishing disorders, and heavy depressions may exist. Also, after a serious depression or a nutrition disorder only a treatment of natural mixtures may not be sufficient, in such cases help of a psychiatrist (sexologist) or nutrition expert is needed.

Heavy training may be harmful:

For a healthy sexual life a light and not tiring training program is as important as vegetal aphrodisiacs. A light and regular exercise program will balance your metabolism and hormonal system to keep you sexually active. But beware of heavy and tiring training programs because an extra low fat texture may cause a performance decrease.

Yoga, meditation and many other positive energy techniques are recommended to purify your brain against stress and support sexual energy. Right breathing exercises are also important for a successful sex life. If you insist for heavy training please pay special attention for a regular and healthy nutrition.

A Special Booster Formula for Men:

Put 1 kg. of a good quality flower honey into a glass pot, add 250 gr. powdered ginger, 100 gr. powdered Indian saffron, 50 gr. peeled and pounded green cardamom, 1 gr. saffron, 5 gr. pounded coriander, 4 sweet spoons of pounded stinging nettle seeds, 2 sweet spoons of royal jelly, 4 sweet spoonful of pollen, 100 gr. unshelled and pounded pistachio nut and 100 gr. of pine nut. Stir and mix the whole with a wood spoon. You can store the pot in a cool and gloomy place. If you don't have any allergy or illness against those ingredients, eat one tablespoon 2 times (morning and night) in a day.

Have You Ever Wondered Why Herbal Foods Can Increase Your Fertility Chances

Herbal foods increase fertility the same way that a general healthy body can help you conceive faster. Foods increase fertility because of the fact that they help the body in reducing inflammation and they also help in fighting off sickness.

Foods increase fertility because they provide the necessary boost for tissue regeneration and for the production of the necessary hormones and enzymes required for the fertility cycle.

Foods increase fertility also because they are natural repositories of fiber and other toxin cleansing substances that are naturally occurring in nature. Foods also increase fertility because they help the body in the over all maintenance of all the body systems.

Now, as for the question can herbal foods increase fertility chances? There are debating views on this particular question. For one, real herbal foods are quite expensive especially if you live in the highly urbanized areas.

If it is not expensive, then probably it is not really herbal in nature. Real herbal foods come from small to medium sized farms that employ traditional methods of planting, fertilizing and harvesting, and the processes themselves retain most of the moisture and vitamin content of the herbal foods.

However, if one wants, one can opt for herbal foods that are herbal because they are cooked with herbs and other healthy vegetables. This approach would not be utilizing strictly the definition of herbal foods.

Another contending view about this issue comes from the side of medical science. Doctors often say that while eating herbal foods may increase one's overall health condition, it will not necessarily solve the problem of fertility, or the lack thereof.

Most doctors would recommend herbal foods that are high in protein, high in fiber, high in vitamins and minerals, so on and so forth. When you look at the chemical properties of these foods, you might agree with the doctors that none of the substances that are actually contained in the foods that you eat specifically remedy, for example, irregular menstruation.

What doctors do on this note is that they recommend the regular consumption of the herbal foods, plus, the regular intake also of the specific medicines that would target specific symptoms of poor fertility or even infertility.

Yet another contending view says that the problem is often with the couple themselves, and not with their bodies. Some findings show that often, the problem is with the persons, because they often lack sleep and don't do it often enough.

When this happens, often counseling and regular check ups with the doctor is a good way to go. No amount of herbal foods can help suppress tiredness and stress coming in from the outside, so another kind of help is needed.

Sometimes also, the persons involved in the problem of conceiving a child lack the necessary motivation, so that is yet another problem. How does one find motivation to have sexual intercourse regularly? The answer lies in the mood making itself. Find what suits you and your partner.

In conclusion, I hope this information on why is it so that herbal food can indirectly increase your fertility levels is helpful and informative, thus increasing your chances of pregnancy. Also, with proper planning, I am sure you will have an opportunity to carry your own baby very soon.

How To Improve Your Hormone Levels And Sexual Health With Natural Remedies

Nutrition and diet are an important part of a woman's general health. These factors also affect her sexual health as well. As women age, hormone levels decrease, and with hormone levels so goes the libido. Women can undergo hormone replacement therapy, to replace depleted hormones, but there are alternatives. Monitoring your diet will help you maintain a vital healthy sex life.

For the best sexual health in women, you should eat foods that are high in magnesium, potassium, Vitamin E, zinc, niacin, and amino acids. Foods that are high in fat can damage a woman's sexual well being by blocking arteries and decreasing blood flow to erogenous zones. Consuming larger amounts of fruits and vegetables lowers cholesterol and increases blood flow. Blood flow equals sexual stimulation. A healthy heart means sexual stamina so eating healthy fibers and starches also contributes to sexual health. Vitamins supplements and multivitamins increase energy levels and boost circulation giving you an overall sexual health boost.

Decreasing stress levels and adequate sleep are always factors in the bedroom. A woman's ability to maintain sexual interest and have regular orgasms hinges on her ability to reduce stress, relax, and be stimulated. Stimulating ones sense of smell and touch through massage oils and lubricants can play an important role in relaxation and overall sexual health. The following methods can be used to help reduce stress: yoga, meditations, or simply a hot bath and a good book.

Nutrition and exercise are an integral part of a man's sexual health as well. Many factors can contribute to changes in sexual health: including medications, illness, fatigue, and/or diseases. Cardiac complications can be caused by a diet that is high in fat. Adding fish and foods that are high in protein can rejuvenate a man's sexual health, along with foods containing high amounts of zinc. Fish, shellfish, and oysters all stimulate the health of the prostate.

Vitamin E and Niacin are both vitamins that are directly linked to sexual health. Vitamin E is called the "sex vitamin" because it is said to lead to stronger erections. Niacin constructs the sex and adrenal hormones. This vitamin imitates the natural flush one gets from sexual excitement and arousal. Niacin dilates the blood vessels and allows for more blood flow. Once again, for men as for women, blood flow equals sexual stimulation.

Exercise is good for your body. Sex is good for your body. Exercise leads to heightened sexual experiences because the heart is pumping, blood is flowing and energy is available. When you work out, your body releases a great amount of stress. When you reach orgasm during intercourse, more stress is released. Basically, your physical and sexual health benefit from your healthy lifestyle.

Stop Premature Ejaculation


Premature ejaculation or ejaculating too soon is the most common of all male sexual problems and almost all of us go through this early in life. Usually younger men suffer more form this problem since you tend to gain better ejaculatory control with age and experience. Nonetheless, I am sure no one would like to be labeled as a 3 minute man. Moreover, as far as enjoying sex is concerned, not just 3 or 4 minutes is the required time but you should be able to prolong ejaculation for as long as possible to make sexual intercourse a highly satisfying experience for both yourself and your woman.



How to Stop Being 3 Minute Man and Stop Premature Ejaculation

Premature ejaculation can be tackled with by strengthening the pubicoccygeus muscle or the PC muscle. The PC muscle is located from your pubic bone to the tail bone and the floor of pelvic cavity. There are exercises that can make this muscle strong and these exercises are called Kegels, named after Dr. Arnold Kegel who introduced them.

You can easily locate your PC muscle by trying to stop urine midstream. It is this muscle that you contract when you stop urine midstream. Kegel exercises involve clenching and unclenching of the PC muscle. In the beginning you can start by performing mere five repetitions, clenching the muscle for just five seconds each time and increase the number of repetitions as you get used to doing these exercises. Over time you will find your PC muscle getting strong and you will be able to prolong ejaculations and last longer in bed.

These exercises are fairly simple to perform and you can literally do them anywhere. Though these exercises are very effective in helping you get better staying power, you should be expecting results overnight. It is only after a few weeks that you will start noticing better ejaculatory control. Eventually you will naturally start using this muscle when you're masturbating. It will involuntarily contract when you climax, and your semen will squirt out. Don't be surprised if some of it lands on your face!

Apart from these simple exercises, there are some natural pills and supplements that can help you get rid of premature ejaculation and enhance your sexual stamina. Natural pills ensure throbbing blood flow to the penis and relax blood vessels in there to allow more blood into the erectile tissue ensuring firmer and longer lasting erections.

Prosolution Pills are the best male enhancement pills that are completely natural and include free access to one of the most widely acclaimed penis enhancement manual that illustrates how to perform Kegels as well as Jelqs. Jelqs are the exercises that can help you grow the erectile tissue in size so that it can hold more blood resulting in a thicker and longer penis. These pills are approved and recommended by doctors and do not have any side effects.